![]() The Wisdom Archive also has hundreds of quotations from comedians, philosophers, teachers, businesspeople, rebels, believers, politicians, economists, and mothers.Along with such works as Marco Polo’s account of his journey to China, Mark Twain’s “Innocents Abroad” - among the first publications to introduce Bermuda to Americans as a holiday destination - has been named as one of the top travel books ever written by a Smithsonian Institution writer. I hope you enjoyed these Mark Twain quotes. I never let my schooling interfere with my education. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces. I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. ![]() The human race is a race of cowards, and I am not only marching in that procession, I am carrying a banner. And I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time. Often it does seem such a pity that Noah … didn’t miss the boat.Īs an example to others – not that I care for moderation myself – it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake. It were not best that we should think alike it is difference of opinion that makes horse races. I never told the truth in my life that someone didn’t say I was lying, and I never told a lie that somebody didn’t take it as a fact. There are many humorous things in the world, among them the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages. Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse – yet he has left it out of his heaven. If Christ were here now, there is one thing he would not be: a Christian. The trouble with most of us is that we know too much that ain’t so.Īlways do right this will gratify some people and astonish the rest. But for them, the rest of us could not succeed. You may die of a misprint.Īll you need in this life is ignorance and confidence then success is sure. The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad.īe careful about reading health books. I have lived a long life and had many troubles, most of which never happened. I believe our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey.įew things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. I wish to become rich so that I can instruct the people and glorify honest poverty like those kind-hearted, fat, benevolent people do. ![]() We may not pay Satan reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at least respect his talents. Laughter without a tinge of philosophy is but a sneeze of humor. Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relation. The man who doesn’t read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them.Įducation is the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty. Without further ado, Mark Twain quotes, quips, insights, and revelations (primarily the funny, wry, or satirical ones): Sometimes society seems so disconcerting that I long for people such as him to be here now. We were the better for it then, and now we can look back on Mark Twain quotes and be proud we can count him as an American. We are lucky to have had a man such as him write so much nonfiction, commentary, invective, and social criticism. From the mundane to the significant, Twain lived a long time and little escaped his careful eye. ![]() Ever the satirist, he took aim at people in power, governmental leaders, and even religion. They are rich, insightful, and eye-opening. Let us look to one of America’s great humorists for some insight. Especially on social media, many individuals are wont to jump down someone’s throat for a perceived infraction – or even just an ideological difference of opinion. Indeed, this author asks whatever happened to America’s sense of humor? I think that might be a bit exaggerated, but it does seem like the tenseness of the modern era makes it so that people have fairly thin skins. ![]() Here are those quotes in the Wisdom Archive, over 36,000-strong now… Mark Twain quotes have stood the test of time for their penetrating, serious character as well as their satirical and humorous quality. This is, of course, a shockingly truncated list. Mark Twain is up there with American luminaries such as Will Rogers, Lucille Ball, Woody Allen, Dorothy Parker, Ambrose Bierce, Betty White, Thomas Nast, Gary Larson, Phyllis Diller, Joan Rivers, Charlie Chaplin, and Carl Reiner. ![]()
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